It's just another Dairy between Wasteland and Wonderland.

who is?

2008-12-10T07:28:40Z

does anyone know who is this model?

Need all your help

2008-10-29T16:40:45Z

doesn't anyone know this model?

finnish friday

2008-01-30T06:09:47Z

Hi all !

I havent been posting so much recently, well here u are some more
info on a traditional finnish weekend.

"Heavy work requires heavy amusements", is Finns' motto. Every
adult - and most of minors too - start their Friday evening by
drinking lots of alcohol. Traditional way is to drink a full bottle of
strong liquor, the so-called "Perjantaipullo" (Friday Bottle).
However, most modern Finns drink lager and other mild alcohol. In any
case, the purpose is to get really drunk and mess around.

Alcohol is very expensive in Finland, and especially expensive it is
at a "restaurant" (a place which serves alcohol). That's why finns buy
the slightly cheaper alcohol beforehand at state monopoly (ALKO)
stores and drink as much as they dare before going to a "restaurant".
Younger people buy alcohol this way: they calculate which drink has
the most alcohol compared to its cost, and buy it. Never mind what it
tastes of or what it is.

At every restaurant, there is a big man at the door. He selects which
customers who are allowed to get in. He does not try to get more
customers in, he prevents some customers from entering! Yes, in
Finland, the "restaurants", discos, dance and night clubs choose their
customers, not vice versa. Even if the place is not popular, there
will be a "door monkey" who makes people to wait in line. Yes, the big
man at the door is not trying to get more people in!

At the door, this man, called a "portsari" (portier) sniffs at the
potential customer's breath and generally tries to see whether or not
this potential customer is sober enough, or looks good enough, to be
allowed entry. Portsari can also search customers for hidden alcohol
bottles, as these are not allowed in "restaurants". After the cavity
search, the customer pays a few bucks, or more, and is then allowed
into the lobby. But, before the customer actually gets in, his or her
topmost clothes must first be taken off and left at the guarded
coat-rack. This, of course, also costs other bucks.

Inside the crowded, dark and smoky "restaurant", the customers sit at
the tables and try to order expensive drinks from the waiters. Beware,
the "restaurant" drinks are even more expensive than the greatly taxed
alcohol bought directly in state-licensed alcohol shops (always called
"ALKO"). In restaurants, the full, taxed cost is taken, and on top of
that, a large profit for the restaurant. The other surely memorable
events in this enjoyment are trips to the toilets, which get more and
more colorful the more time passes. The object of the evening is to
get laid, or, if that fails, as usual, to get very, very drunk.

Finnish Conversation

Nearly every woman in Finland who has been in a disco, has been the
subject to this traditional exchange of words. Here it is, translated
as accurately as possible:

Very drunk man* (approaching the woman): "Would u dance with me?!"
Woman: "NO!"
Very drunk man: "Fuck you then, you whore!"
(in Finnish: "Haista sitten vittu, saatanan huora!")

* Note:

Finnish men never dare to approach a woman before they have drunk a lot of alcohol.

Other subjects of conversation are sex and drinking stories, the
latter consisting of people's exploits while absolutely stoned.

Women talk about which men are the biggest and hardest, while men
boast about the incredible number of women they've been with, and give
hints to others about the "easy" women. Younger folk concentrate more
on drinking stories, as they are, without exception, too shy to
even talk to the opposite sex, and thus never get laid.

Apart from drinking, "dancing", and a conversation that has to be
shouted, there is usually nothing to do in a "restaurant". I myself
find these places terribly boring.

But, when there is something to do, it is even more awful, only karaoke
remains somewhat popular. I'm pretty sure that you don't want to see
nor hear a drunk, fat, ugly Finnish man singing old Finnish hits -
badly.

Jatkot

After the "fun" evening at the "restaurant", some people continue into
a night club, if they can still get in, and some go to "continuations"
("jatkoille"). It means, a group of finns go to someone's house or
apartment and continue drinking. Only a very small percent succeeds in
the purpose of the evening, and get laid.

Those who can remember anything from their weekend, can then boast
with their drinking and sex stories next week. What most Finns don't
seem to know, is that forgetting part of the evening means brain
damage caused by alcohol.

//////DESIRE

2007-12-29T19:59:51Z

New Layout in here. Felt like this. Changes. Deep inside of me. I have to admit alot to myself. A lot of mistakes, lots of stupid feelings. Feelings I still have and can't get away from. They make me scared. They make me helpless. Hopeless? I don't know. Wish I could tear'em out of my head, my heart, my soul. Guess I have to except'em. Happily Bleeding.

I got a flu. Laying down in my bed with Perttu. Chained. Chained to my bed, to my thoughts, to myself. I don't have to go to work until 4th January. Don't know if I can stand myself that long. XD. Soon another year has passed. Life is a constant dying. When you're born you begin to die with every second that passed by. That's so sad. Today it makes me sad. "To philosophize means learning to die.".

Zombie is back. He gave me some travel gifts. A Misfits Girlie Shirt and a Tulip made of wood because I kill every plant. So cute <3. Missed him. Missed the way he loves me.

Hanoi Rocks is here in my town in february. Noone wants to go there so I'll go alone I guess. Will be fun though =). I'm gonna go to sleep now. Wish you all a little sparkling dwarf in your hearts.

♥ ♥ ♥

/////JUMPING

2007-12-27T14:27:07Z

I'm the least you could do" by BHG

Im here. In middle of a hell like paradies. I feel good. I'm in love with myself. Don't care about dwarfs and stuff. I'm jumping on beds and loughing about the pain I felt.

No heartache anymore. Friendship. Love. Thats what it is. I set conditions. And I took 'em back. I feel free. And happy. I don't care... I just live. We gonna be drunk and party till death. No matter whats up next. Its just the moment.

Rockin with Cunts is all I need.

//////gROWN.uP.

2007-12-27T14:23:02Z

"Say it Right" by Nelly Furtado

Damn. Lot of time flush down the river. Land of Fins. How it was? Eye-opening. All what I was hoping to get rid of happended. Finally I'm back here. Back to reality. I was searching for someone who delete my reality, that didn't work. I knew it before but I had to find out to leave it behind.

Munich and Manson. Godamn. Manson rocked my soul. I screamed all my negative aggreassion away. All my wrath and sadness. He made me whole again. He brought back my self-esteem. My self-awareness.

Since I'm back I'm changing my whole life. It's hard to leave old bad behaviors behind but I wanna be someone I like and I wanna live a life I like. Let's wait and see what happens next.

//////Love.

2007-12-27T14:19:21Z

Wonderful World by Sam Cooke

"Latatatatatatahuwaah (history)
Oehwoewoe (biology)
Latatatatatatahuwaah (science book)
Oehwoewoe (French I took)"

Great Song. Makes me wanna sing and dance. Let me feel like 6 again. Let me feel in candyworld with bubbles, sugar and happy bunnies jumping around. Need some. Thanks to Dirk from work. He is to blame for the endless repeated song in here XD.

I have a big cold. Nevertheless I was on work. Today is my day off. I'm gonna go to my mothers place in an hour. Will see my sister and brother and his family. My baby nephew Mika <3. Gonna be a nice day anyways. Aaaaaaaand Mamas foooooood. <3. Miam miam. Zombie is in Poland at his familys hometown. Can't wait when he's back again.

I wish you all a great time outhere. Enjoy what ever you gonna do and don't be pissed. It isn't worth it. =).

♥ ♥ ♥

"weareveryday"

2007-08-13T06:33:24Z

I got my new cap. Black, big and my new "weareveryday". I pimped it with a silver skull button. I bought it few weeks ago when I was shopping with Zombie. I bought two of them and Zombie about 16. He pimped his jacket. =). We're the pimpin' crew XD.

I worked on that new layout to inspire myself for the other layouts I have to do. I just wanted to code something easy but it took hours. I had there a coding problem also. What happened to me? Where is my spirit? Nevertheless it's working and now I have a big headache.

I think I'm gonna go to the new tattoo artist on 24.8. Shiva got her appointment there but she can't use it so I'll take it. Such a sad story about my old diarist. But I have to go on. I'm a Junkie of it =). So many empty parts on my skin. I almost can't stand the mirror.

I saw my mother today. She feels better. That makes me happier. My siblings and me have still trouble about my father heritage. He is dead for a year and a half. And the strangest thing is I can't remember what I did on his first anniversary of the death. I can't. There is nothing in my mind. I still miss him. And I guess that forever. Nevertheless he is my hero. At least in few ways.

Little Happy Birthday to my Bedbug Finn. He is getting older and wiser and more sexy.

Love. Kisses. Hugs.

All in all she is what she is and she loves it to be...

2007-08-06T14:33:43Z

My new Earcandy. Rasputinas Cover of Mansons Tourniquet. Wow. It's so sad and sexy and wonderful and... Everything is perfect.

Thats my greenish turquiose hair. I'm not sure if I like it. But I think it's something diffrent. Better than black. At least I feel like this right now. It's so diffrent compared with all the other colors around me. Just pink or leopard style. And now my greenish hair. =). Now I won't get lost in here.

Zombie is back from Wacken. One day earlier before he wanted to come. He surprised me after work. How godamn cute. He was drunk as hell XD. But so lovely. I missed him. I can be like I am. I never was able to be that before. He becomes really important to me. He usually wears just black clothes. He does that very straight. But he was waiting infront of the theater in a blue jeans XD. I was totally shocked. But it's nice, maybe a little strange.

I laughed a lot today on work. I laughed the whole time. I laughed tears. So many strange und funny things happened. Long time ago where I laughed so much. One woman ordered "Puuuupcorn" instead of "Popcorn". It isn't that funny but I laughed so hard that I wasn't able to finish her order. My workmate wasn't laughing and that's why I laughed more and more...

Deep little feeling. I finally I accepted it. I think I'm totally happy in just loving you without you loving me back. Sad, huh?

Love. Kisses. Hugs.

I don't wanna wait...

2007-07-29T08:21:58Z

Baby died. She got killed by me. I'm a stupid asshole. Picture beside is one of the last she shot. I'll miss her so much. She did many exciting journeys with me and now she is dead. Oh baby I loved you so much...

Just a new Nikon SLR 40DX with 10 MP could flush away the pain =). God thanks Amazon. She will be here tomorrow before 12 o'clock. And the whole Seasons of Six Feet Under <3. I hope that I'm able to love my new Cam like my old one.

Got my free days today and towmorrow. I feel good. Strange but true. I'm not sure about the drug called love. It's a dangerous thing. It makes you blind and stupid. Nevertheless it let you fly. Sometimes. And I like to fly. I should better stay with Music. Definately the safer drug...

...for our lives to be over. I want to know right now what will it be...

Dawson's Creek. It feels like home. I could watch it all the time. Around the clock. It's like meeting old friends. Stupid heh? I finished the first Season yesterday. Still 5 Seasons to go on. =). And I can't wait to start again.
Naaaaw. The cam was shit. Ok it wasn't shit like shit. It was more "not-satisfying". No camera can bring back my smile. The peace of my heart. The happiness. And at least no cam can bring back my baby. I think I'm gonna try to get it fixed. I miss it so much. I never belived that I'll miss my cam but she is like my soulmate, my heart...

Zombie will be here in a couple of minutes. We gonna go out and get drunk as hell. I realized that he is real. Not a "far away hope". Sounds strange? Mmmmh. He is real and he makes me real. I put the ghost back into the closet. Can somebody give me the key? I need to lock it. Forever.

Still ill

2007-07-12T20:11:29Z

everything is fading away
a deep red light turns into black
and i can't see anything
my skin hurts my heart is filled with pain
longing. longing for love. longing for death
longing for stop this downward spiral
i'll never find peace how the way i'm wanting it.....

would you kill the world for me? ;)
it's this monthly feeling which soaked me down. then i hate life, i hate humans, i hate everything around me. and the only thing what could make it better seemed to be death then. at least i'm too afraid to be dead so that's why i'm still alive. i just have to wait until this phase is over. =).

thank you <3 Beth

Go fix my head and create some health...

2007-05-31T04:01:04Z

Gin and music. A perfect couple to get lost in melancholy. There is this moment again. I'm in the typical "Beth" mood.

Caught in a song which fits my feelings and I can't stop listening to it. I'm surrounded by this dark but transparent atmosphere which almost stops you breathing and let you die with a slight smile.

It feels like my body disapears and my soul get blown away by the wind of fear. The cuts are deep and I'm not sure if I'm able to fix them. Do I want to fix them?

Go fix my head and create some health...

My Suomi plans died a bitter death. They got killed. Tortured. And I'm still sad. Mad. Angry. Helpless. Hopeless. Almost hopeless. Maybe the reason to go there will come to me =).

I'm not sure if I lost my heart or my hope in Finland. I need to find out. I'm stuck. I need to go on. I'm an unwritten chapter and I really want to continue. For the first time in my life I want to make desicions. Desicions about where I wanna be, who I wanna be and why I wanna be =).

Maybe I got wings. Someone put them on me. And I think I wanna use them. I'm afraid that this someone took them away shortly before I jump. But I think I have to risk to die.

desolateangelx @ 2007-05-29T10:52:00

2007-05-29T08:54:14Z

Ticket to Paradies. I've never seen such a beautiful and adorable concert ticket. It's deep black with a black Manson writing on it. I'm totally impressed and in love with it. Wow. That's style, that's class, that's how it has to look like. I can't wait to use it =). Just a bit more than a month and I'll be at 7 am at the hall and waiting for Manson. Gooddamn am I curious about the show. Last show I saw was in Dortmund also during the Golden Age Tour. But I had a seat and it wasn't like a real concert. It was like watching a bad recorded video. First row - We're coming!

My new Lapko Record "Yound Desire" came today <3. What a wonderful piece of art. The booklet is awesome. The sound makes you a junkie. The lyrics are beautiful as always. It's perfect. It's in my heart. It's in my head. So if you're interested in good and deep music - check them out!

I'm half naked, just wrapped in my leopard blanket, tired and hungry. Zombie is sleeping next to me. It feels good to have him here. His silent breathing, his slow heartbeat... I think I'm gonna sleep also now...

[Smile for me.]

Jack Sparrow

2007-05-29T08:48:27Z

First of all I watched all 3 "Pirates of the Caribbean" in a row on wednesday. It starts at 17 o'clock and ends at 2:30 in the morning. I had the worst headache ever but it was worth it. Jack Sparrow... I mean Captain Jack Sparrow for life. He's my Hero. I'll get a tattoo-portait of him on my skin. That's for sure. I don't know when yet but as soon as possible =)...In that night I lost my purse. Fuck. I cried. I swore. I screamed. I searched. Nothing. Away. I phoned with the Theater, my sisters friend, with everybody where it could have been. Nothing. Then I phoned with my Creditcard Service, my bank, my health fund for closing my cards and order new ones. I wanted to go to the police today and set my purse lost to get an attestation for a new ID card. But the Police said that I should wait until Pentecost [like Easter, always falls on a Sunday. The Monday afterwards is just a "bonus" which is celebrated in Italy.] because then somebody could have took it to the police office. Last but not least my Boss from work called me few hours ago and told me that my purse is found. X/. I know I should be happy but that sucks more than the lost purse. All my cards are closed now and I'll get my new ones just in 2 weeks. I closed them for nothing... Lovelife. Lifelove. Strange. Insane. Stupid. Useless. But so sweet and tasty. Every single heartache is a gift. Just enjoy every second of feelings deep inside. They make you alive and can be so inspiring. At least my heart is healed at the moment. No, not just healed. It's in a happy, childish mood. Still in a descrepance between close and far but it can count itself lucky. Work. Work. Work. I'm looking forward to my holiday. I'm still not sure what to do with it but I'm sure I'll enjoy every second. At least Manson's Gig is coming closer and closer =). Happiness in my face. Hope the setlist will contain a good mixture of old and new songs.